Mothers...

(This is my favorite one. Note the shirt on backwards and inside out, Cedric has been dressing himself lately.)

Today my heart is full as I contemplate on the opportunity we have to raise this child. I am so grateful to be a mother. In past years Mother's Day was a hard day. Would I ever be a mother? How is this ever going to happen? How come this blessing of bearing children is not mine? I am not faithful enough? Why me? Is there something I need to change about myself? What am I doing wrong? These and many other thoughts would race through my mind. Sure, everyone included me as being a mother (which I truly believe we are all nurturing loving mothers), but it still hurt my heart. You see I was always the girl who wanted nothing more than being a good wife and a good mom. I never really decided what I wanted to do as a vocation, but one thing was certain and that was that I wanted to have a family. I found my sweet companion and so looked forward to the day that I could announce to him that I was expecting. As the months passed and hopes were shattered, I realized that the dream needed to change slightly. How grateful I am that it has. I love our sweet Cedric. I know without a doubt that this child was supposed to be in our family. I am still not sure if or how that is doctrinally right, but he was supposed to be raised in our family, raised in a home with the gospel, raised to be great disciple of the Lord. He was the reason for the pain that we went through. The pain that eventually led us to him. I would do it again in a heartbeat. My dream is still intact, just slightly different.

I cannot wait for it to happen again. I cannot wait for the day I get to announce to my love that somebody is interested in talking with us more to give us the chance to add to our family. I love birthparents. I cannot say enough how much I appreciate the gift Cedric's birthparents gave us. I love them so much. I am so glad we do know them and know of what special people they are. Their letters and pictures keep us smiling for weeks. They love Cedric so much. The courage and love they have for our child is amazing.

Two Different Kinds of Love

Once there were two women who never knew each other.

One you do not remember,

the other you call Mother.

Two different lives shaped to make you one.

One became your guiding star,

the other became your sun.

The first one gave you life,

and the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love.

The second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality.

The other gave you a name.

One gave you a talent.

The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions.

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile.

The other dried your tears.

One sought for you a home that she could not provide.

The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me, through your tears,the age-old question unanswered through the years.

Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?

Neither, my darling. Neither.

Just two different kinds of Love.

~Author Unknown

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL, PRESENT AND FUTURE!