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| One of the many awesome historic homes in Charleston. |
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| Gabe cheesing it at a restaurant in Charleston. |
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| Cedric dancing on the streets of Charleston in 2012. |
When we heard the news of the Charleston shooting our hearts wept for the city and the wonderful people who live there. We wanted to be there. We wanted to show our love and support, to line up on the bridge and hug the people at the Mother Emanuel AME church. We wanted to mourn with those who were mourning. We wanted to show love to our African-American friends and quell any racial tension that may be arising. Our children come from a beautiful history of wonderful people who have had a lot of challenges to overcome. We try to do all we can to help our children appreciate that heritage. We realize that we ourselves don't fully understand it, but what we DO know is in Martin Luther King's quote "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
We strive to provide a home full of light and love. I read about the #onlylovecandothat movement and knew our family needed to participate. I thought we would take some flowers and a card to the local AME church, but Tyson knew immediately what we should do - We should attend their service on Sunday (I am married to the BEST man!). We decided on Friday to attend the church. I was unsure of our decision over the weekend, asking myself if the people at the AME church would really care or would they judge us to be some crazy Mormons that showed up at their chapel. I totally had thoughts that they might come after us about blacks and the priesthood. Would they scold us for bringing black children into our home because we took them out of their culture? I was nervous, but Sunday came and we took a leap and went. We did take some flowers and a card. I felt my words were okay, but Tyson's words were touching and perfect. Cedric wrote in the card too.
As we walked into the small chapel, we were met by 2 wonderful ushers who showed us to our seats. We were a bit late and they were singing the opening hymn. Gabe was wondering why they had drums and why we were standing up and singing. Cedric and Macie started clapping their hands along with everyone else. I saw Tyson speaking to the usher. She gave him a "Visitor" card to fill out. The small chapel had about 30 people. I noticed about 5 of them were white. Pastor Donna led us in singing the opening song:
I was tearing up. I looked over at Tyson and he was tearing up as well. Pastor Donna lead us in prayer. After the prayer she apologized that they were going to veer from their planned father's day sermon to mourn and pray for Mother Emanuel. The usher then handed the pastor the "visitor" cards and the pastor when to each visitor, stated our name and asked us to say why we were there. There was Amanda, a white 30-something sitting in front of us. She came because she felt it was the best way to support them and show love. She said it was the best service she had ever been too. There were 2 white ladies sitting across the chapel from us. They too felt they wanted to come and support the AME church members.
Then the pastor came over to us. Gabe was sitting on the end of the row, all smiles, sitting in his suit. The pastor was so taken with him and that smile of his. Tyson spoke for our family. He told the congregation that we moved from South Carolina, how much we loved the people of South Carolina, how 2 of our children had South Carolina ancestry, and how we wanted to come today and show our love and mourn with them about the terrible tragedy that happened to their fellow church members. The congregation said, "Good morning Smith family" and then Cedric threw up his arms and shouted out, "Good morning everyone!" It made everyone laugh.
"I will trust in the Lord - I will trust in the Lord - I will trust in the Lord until I die.
I'm gonna stay on the battlefield until I die.
I'm gonna watch, fight and pray until I die.
I will trust in the Lord until I die."
Then the pastor came over to us. Gabe was sitting on the end of the row, all smiles, sitting in his suit. The pastor was so taken with him and that smile of his. Tyson spoke for our family. He told the congregation that we moved from South Carolina, how much we loved the people of South Carolina, how 2 of our children had South Carolina ancestry, and how we wanted to come today and show our love and mourn with them about the terrible tragedy that happened to their fellow church members. The congregation said, "Good morning Smith family" and then Cedric threw up his arms and shouted out, "Good morning everyone!" It made everyone laugh.
After they said all of our names, the Pastor said it was time to "stand up and greet." So the entire congregation got up and hugs one another, wishes one another a good day, asks how they are doing, etc. It was such an amazing outpouring of love for each other. I had 2 people say to us that we should come to church there. I said it was awesome, but we are Mormon. I was a little nervous to say it, but one lady was like, "What ward?" as she had some Mormon friends. They were so respectful about our own religion. They all thanked us for being there and said how good it was for us to be there.
After the meet and greet, we heard some amazing songs by the choir and we read Psalms 91.
We went through this beautiful Litany:
Leader:
“The doors of the Church are open” is an announcement made at nearly every service. It was regularly spoken at Emanuel Church of Charleston, known to us as the “Mother” of African Methodism in the Deep South. As members of the AME Family, we feel a connection with the Connection, even on Father’s Day, and today our proud connection is more keenly felt.
“The doors of the Church are open” is an announcement made at nearly every service. It was regularly spoken at Emanuel Church of Charleston, known to us as the “Mother” of African Methodism in the Deep South. As members of the AME Family, we feel a connection with the Connection, even on Father’s Day, and today our proud connection is more keenly felt.
People:
O God, “The doors of the Church are still open.”
O God, “The doors of the Church are still open.”
Leader:
Hate and Evil – armed and dangerous – came to an intergenerational Bible Study and Prayer Meeting Wednesday night at Mother Emanuel, accompanied by unfathomable horror, leaving a trail of blood and hurt across the African Methodist Connection, Charleston and the world.
Hate and Evil – armed and dangerous – came to an intergenerational Bible Study and Prayer Meeting Wednesday night at Mother Emanuel, accompanied by unfathomable horror, leaving a trail of blood and hurt across the African Methodist Connection, Charleston and the world.
People:
O God, “the doors of the church are still open,” and still we believe that “We sorrow not as those who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
O God, “the doors of the church are still open,” and still we believe that “We sorrow not as those who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
Leader:
The “Emanuel Nine” had names – and families, and lives, and careers, and places to go and things to do. They were colleagues, friends and kin: the Honorable Rev. Clementa Pinckney (41), the Rev. Daniel “Super” Simmons (74), the Rev.Sharonda Coleman-Singleton (45), Brother Tywanza Sanders (26), Sister DePayne Middleton Doctor (49), Sister Cynthia Hurd (54), Sister Myra Thompson (59), Sister Ethel Lance (70), and Sister Susie Jackson (87). Then pure evil showed up at Bible Study and turned their lives to past tense, and our lives to turmoil, and made an infamous name for himself.
The “Emanuel Nine” had names – and families, and lives, and careers, and places to go and things to do. They were colleagues, friends and kin: the Honorable Rev. Clementa Pinckney (41), the Rev. Daniel “Super” Simmons (74), the Rev.Sharonda Coleman-Singleton (45), Brother Tywanza Sanders (26), Sister DePayne Middleton Doctor (49), Sister Cynthia Hurd (54), Sister Myra Thompson (59), Sister Ethel Lance (70), and Sister Susie Jackson (87). Then pure evil showed up at Bible Study and turned their lives to past tense, and our lives to turmoil, and made an infamous name for himself.
People:
O God, “The doors of the church are still open,” and we affirm Your Word that “Perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18)
O God, “The doors of the church are still open,” and we affirm Your Word that “Perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18)
Leader:
Our faith will not be stolen, even by violence as heinous as the assassination of nine innocent people, and the terror that left bodies wounded and souls injured among those who survived the attack.
Our faith will not be stolen, even by violence as heinous as the assassination of nine innocent people, and the terror that left bodies wounded and souls injured among those who survived the attack.
People:
O God, “The doors of the church are still open,” and “our faith looks up to Thee” and “will not shrink though pressed by every foe.”
O God, “The doors of the church are still open,” and “our faith looks up to Thee” and “will not shrink though pressed by every foe.”
Leader:
The evil one wanted a race war, instead there came an outpouring of love, sympathy and tears from white people; fervent prayers offered for him by Black people. With shock and anger still wafting in the air, family members amazingly spoke words of forgiveness, and the community sang together and spoke of hope. We have learned at least this much in our walk with God in Christ: “Unmerited suffering is still redemptive.”
The evil one wanted a race war, instead there came an outpouring of love, sympathy and tears from white people; fervent prayers offered for him by Black people. With shock and anger still wafting in the air, family members amazingly spoke words of forgiveness, and the community sang together and spoke of hope. We have learned at least this much in our walk with God in Christ: “Unmerited suffering is still redemptive.”
People:
O God, “The doors of the church are still open,” and we affirm Word of Christ, “Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. (John 14:27b)
O God, “The doors of the church are still open,” and we affirm Word of Christ, “Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. (John 14:27b)
Leader:
While we are called to a heightened sense of vigilance to protect the lives of those who walk through “open doors” to find an open Altar, and to worship and study in peace, we will encourage ourselves in the Word of God, in fellowship, sharing our mutual woes and joys.
While we are called to a heightened sense of vigilance to protect the lives of those who walk through “open doors” to find an open Altar, and to worship and study in peace, we will encourage ourselves in the Word of God, in fellowship, sharing our mutual woes and joys.
People:
Holy God, amid so much sorrow and so many questions, we affirm Your Word, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God.
Holy God, amid so much sorrow and so many questions, we affirm Your Word, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God.
The pastor spoke about Christ and His atonement, how it would help Dylan Roof, help those who lost their lives and their families. Then the Pastor started talking about our family. I guess the Usher had told her about the flowers and the card. The Pastor said, "Now, I image the conversation went like this in the Smith home - We can't get to South Carolina to take some flowers, but we can show love to members here, we can pay our respects here at the AME." She brought the flowers up and placed them at the front of the chapel. Then she opened our card. She couldn't read Tyson's writing, so she walked down to Tyson.
They stood side by side, with arms around each other.
I felt a swell of pride for my husband. He is so good! He loves people!
He loves to show people that they are loved. He is compassionate and kind to everyone in our family and others around him. I don't understand his gift of discernment in knowing what myself or the children need before we know it ourselves. It truly astounds me! I was beaming as I watched him read his words that went something like this, "We are here today to mourn with you as you mourn the loss of your fellow church members. We are from Myrtle Beach. We love Charleston. We love the people there. We are so grateful for the faith of the wonderful members of the AMEs church who make extraordinary contributions. We are grateful for your examples of forgiveness and friendship and faith in Jesus Christ." Tyson was crying at this point and the room was full of the spirit.
The pastor then had Tyson read my words, which said that we were so sorry for their loss, that they would be in our prayers and that we loved them.
The Pastor had Cedric stand up and read his words. They went something like this, "I am so sorry about what happened. I know how you feel. I will keep you in my nightly prayers. Love, Cedric" Everyone cheered for Cedric.
The pastor then talked about how the Lord works in mysterious ways and how instead of this event tearing races apart, it has brought us together.
At this point the Pastor had 8 women come up to the front row. Each of them had been assigned something to pray about. We heard prayers for the families of the Emanuel Nine; the Emanuel AME Church Family, the woman who was allowed to live so that she could tell the story, the five year old child who played dead, the other survivor, the prayer of forgiveness for Dylan Roof, a prayer that racism would end, and a prayer that God's love would rule and reign in our hearts, in our homes, in our churches, in our communities - everywhere.
All the prayers were beautiful. The prayer about forgiveness for Dylan Roof was filled with forgiveness and heartbreak for this mentally ill person. The prayer that racism would end was so touching. The woman prayed that we would be able to appreciate each other's heritage, but not let the color of our skin be a judgement on us. She is the one who said, "There are no separate places for the different races in heaven, so please let us practice how to live with each other now."
During the prayers, Macie was fussing up a storm. I let her go and she ran across the aisle to a black lady sitting on the end. It was so cute to watch her talk to them. She was so comfortable and it made me so happy! She ran to the back of the chapel to play with another little girl who was there. I ran back there to make sure she wouldn't run out. As we were back there, the services were about to end. The Pastor had us all hold hands and raise them above our head as we were singing the last song. A woman at my right grabbed my hand and we raised our hands over our heads and gave praise to Heavenly Father. It was so cool!
During the closing prayer, the pastor blessed America that we would heal from this tragedy, that we would see each other as equals. She thanked all the visitors for being there in love and support and then said, "thank you to the Smiths for having black children in their home." I was taken back by that, but a lot of people in the room said "Amen" when she said that. After the meeting everyone hugged and kissed each other as they were leaving. We had to rush to get to our ward, but I think we could have stayed there for an hour or so talking and laughing about life.
Race is a conversation in our home.
Gabe has expressed before how he doesn't like brown people and that brown people scare him. This hurt my heart! I think it came about because in Myrtle Beach when Gabe was younger the only brown people he was around spoke a different language than him and it was awkward for him. However it happened, we do not want this to be the case anymore!
Some say we should be color blind. If that means that we don't see the beautiful color of our children and the heritage and ancestry that preceded them - I strongly disagree. It must be well known and celebrated. From their African-American heritage to Cedric's Italian, Gabe's Irish and Macie's Puerto Rican. It is so important that we all understand where they have come from. (Side note - I love family history! So excited for the Freedmen's Project!)
We should be color blind in the way that under it all, we are all children of Heavenly Father. He loves us all the same. We all want the same things in life - to love and be loved.
We are grateful for the chance we had to get to know the wonderful members of the AME church here in California. It is vital for our children to see all different races and cultures and especially the examples of people like the AME church members. We are hoping to keep in touch, attend celebrations, collaborate on service projects, etc. with them.
Like most parents, we wonder what challenges our children will face in the future. We wonder if we as white parents and leaders of our home will be able to help our children through the racial issues they will face. We are fully aware that we don't have the slightest clue if we are doing parenting right, but what we can do is love our children unconditionally and help them to know that we will be here to offer an understanding ear and a loving hug as they weave their way through their challenges.
Some say we should be color blind. If that means that we don't see the beautiful color of our children and the heritage and ancestry that preceded them - I strongly disagree. It must be well known and celebrated. From their African-American heritage to Cedric's Italian, Gabe's Irish and Macie's Puerto Rican. It is so important that we all understand where they have come from. (Side note - I love family history! So excited for the Freedmen's Project!)
We should be color blind in the way that under it all, we are all children of Heavenly Father. He loves us all the same. We all want the same things in life - to love and be loved.
We are grateful for the chance we had to get to know the wonderful members of the AME church here in California. It is vital for our children to see all different races and cultures and especially the examples of people like the AME church members. We are hoping to keep in touch, attend celebrations, collaborate on service projects, etc. with them.
Like most parents, we wonder what challenges our children will face in the future. We wonder if we as white parents and leaders of our home will be able to help our children through the racial issues they will face. We are fully aware that we don't have the slightest clue if we are doing parenting right, but what we can do is love our children unconditionally and help them to know that we will be here to offer an understanding ear and a loving hug as they weave their way through their challenges.
We have felt that the most important things for our children to know are that we love them and Heavenly Father loves them.
This was stressed on Sunday by Pastor Donna - Love cures all! It is needed by all.
Love, care, concern, acceptance, loyalty, understanding, charity, kindness - these will help heal us all!
Your family is the best! We miss having your great example and love for others. Just for the record...you are mastering parenthood! Ya'll are amazing parents:)
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